Kathy Hilton Dharnidharka LaValley

Our beloved Kathy passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in her home on November 24, 2020 at the age of 71.  

Kathy was born March 28, 1949 to Henry and Luana Hilton. She was their second of five children and their only daughter.  Kathy spent most of her youth and early adult life in the Salt Lake City, Utah area.  

Kathy married Sajjan Dharnidharka in 1973. They soon relocated to Stockton, California to start a kidney dialysis clinic and a family. Sajj and Kathy had 3 children: Amy, Ravi and Rajiv. All were born and raised in Stockton.  When Sajj died suddenly in 1989, Kathy became not only the sole parent, but also the sole provider for the family and the CEO of the dialysis clinic.  Even as a hard-working single mom, she was always present for her kids’ activities and was very active in their day-to-day lives.  She never missed a soccer, baseball, basketball, dance or cheer event.  She even managed to continue being a volunteer in the children’s school, plan family trips to the beach or skiing in the mountains, and be present for the daily trials and tribulations kids endure as they grow up.   She helped three young kids become three young adults and sent them out of the nest well prepared for the world.

Kathy married John LaValley in 1996. They relocated to Atlanta, GA where they lived until returning to California to be close to her children in 2003.  Kathy and John remained in Sacramento until her passing in 2020. 

Kathy had an incredible sense of humor. She had a very sharp wit and was always ready with an adult joke or snappy one-liner to get the crowd laughing and embarrass her kids.  The phrase “oh god Mom…” was familiar when she was at the party. 

While she rarely drank, Kathy found ways to embrace her sons’ good times.  She was Rajiv’s ringer in a good game of beer pong. She also managed to sneak one past the Post Office, Customs, the Department of Defense and likely a few other federal agencies by hiding shot bottles inside Pringles chips containers shipped to Ravi while he was deployed in Iraq. 

Kathy loved being the “White Indian.”  She learned to cook Indian food and loved to share her passion with others.   While living in Stockton, she was seen as the “go-to” person for cooking lessons and was often asked to share her recipes with the new, young, Indian wives in their social circle.  She found ways to incorporate Indian traditions into American holidays and events. Christmas in her house always included samosas and kheer.  She loved to collect bangles and share her stories from her many trips to India. She shared Indian traditions and books with her kids’ elementary school classrooms. Her grandkids call her Grandma, Dadi or Nonie.  

Kathy loved to collect things.  Whether it was books she read voraciously (and more easily had room to store after she went digital on her iPad), costume jewelry and outfits for every holiday on the calendar, everyday earrings and bracelets in a wild array of styles and colors, nail polish for every season or color on the spectrum, Tupperware containers or serving pieces for any party’s color theme, her house and life were always full.  She would share anything and everything she had with those she knew and cared about and the pieces of those collections that she has left behind will bring smiles to the faces of those who knew her. 

Kathy was an excellent cook.  Her home was always open to feed any and everybody, and it showed in the amounts of food she prepared and always had on hand.  “Enough food for an army” was the slogan around meals.  She was also well known to the neighborhood kids as the house with the best snack cabinet, which was raided daily by grateful neighborhood kids whose families didn’t keep as much junk food on hand.  Her recipes were always hard to replicate, as she was a true chef and never did things exactly the same way twice, but Amy nailed her down on some of the family favorites and continues to cook them for her family and others.  

She was a party planner extraordinaire and loved a good theme she could run with.  In so many family photos and videos she is hosting a lavishly themed party or holiday event and always seems to be cutting a cake. Amy has many a wonderful memory of planning the special events in her life with her mom, from her wedding to her baby showers and the extravagantly themed parties for her kids’ early birthday parties.  Kathy was a thoughtful and intentional gift-giver; searching far and wide for the perfect, hard to find gift that would be just perfect for the lucky recipient, including a jar of nothing which is exactly what Rajiv got when he told her that was what he wanted for his birthday.  Her shopping prowess was known well and if you ever needed, wanted or even casually mentioned an interest in something hard to find, she made it her mission to track it down.  

Kathy lived her life full of compassion and care for her family and friends.  She went to great lengths to provide a loving and supporting environment at every turn.  She loved to cheer on her kids and grandkids during sporting events, dance recitals, home productions, and even rock music shows.  She celebrated the big, splashy moments in her children’s lives like weddings, career changes or advancements, the birth of their children, and so on, but she was also always there for the disappointments and struggles with an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.  

Kathy was an amazing person who brightened the lives of everyone she touched. She gave us many gifts that will remain sacred in our homes and families for generations. Not just the hard to find perfect gifts, but also the eyes to see the world as she saw it, ears to listen, heart to feel and compassion to care for ourselves and others.

Kathy is survived by her husband, John LaValley, her children, Amy (Jason) Sazama, Ravi (Kerry) Dharnidharka, Rajiv (Ida) Dharnidharka, and her grandchildren Xander and Grady Sazama, Sira and Kiran Dharnidharka, and Sajj and Delilah Dharnidharka.  

A Celebration of Kathy's life will be Monday, November 22, 2021 from 5:00 pm to 8:00 pm at Starks Funeral Parlor located at 3651 South 900 East, Salt Lake City, Utah.